Auntie Dede.

I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant, crying behind closed doors of my grandma’s house; what was I going to do? It was January break and my mom was home in Colorado; who could I tell? My auntie Dede was my only option, my only option because I knew she wouldn’t get mad at me. I had to pin point my perfect time to tell her; perhaps when she’s driving? Big semi’s and cars on the freeway, I began thinking this is a bad idea.

“Auntie, Can I tell you something?”

“What? Baby what!” my tears started to fall from my eyes and soon she was crying too. I then told her I was pregnant, more tears started to stream down our faces. She held my hand and reassured me that everything was going to be okay.

Flash backs of my childhood soon came to mind. She was my best friend growing up. Always around when I needed her help, whether it was homework or cooking; she was by my side.

Mommy.

Do you remember when dad taught me how to walk?

You were so happy but sad at the same time because I didn't learn from you.

Do you remember for Halloween my friends huddled around you because they were scared of the haunted house and I was left out?

Do you remember when you told me dad would never be in our lives the way he use to be?

Dad taught me to walk with him so I could walk with you and be like you. During Halloween I was left out because all friends moms weren't there, so I let them borrow you so they could feel how safe I felt with you. When dad died we both felt the same, we lost the man we loved so much, but now we see him everyday in Dallas.

I love you mom and it's true! I'm just like you; Beautiful, Smart, and Everything Sweet.

Best Friends

Band-Aids.

They held me together when I had boo-boo’s

They cured my loneliness and heartbreak.

Guarded me and made sure no dirt or germs hurt me.

This is how I describe my best friends.

Every first happens with them.

First Ditch,

First High.

First in almost everything.

Every day is we make our decisions on which paths we should take, we support each other in our decisions; no matter how bad they are.

I know we may not be together every day like high school,

But I know we’ll always have each other’s backs.

I love you guys.

Your my Sudoku

Love & Sudoku.

yes to me it seems like love is sudoku.
you try to get every number 1-9 in each column, row and box.
pen or pencil.

i usually use pen, its permanent with no erasing.
like love, you say 'i love you' and you mean it.
problem with using pen is that once you make a mistake, no erasing.
that is when sometimes i wish to use a pencil.
like accidentally when you say 'babe i hate when you act like a total *****'
sometimes you cant erase or chew it over with a snickers, because still there'll
still be that arguing over stupid stuff.

think of one sudoku puzzle equals one month.
your proudly geting a hang of sudoku but then all of a sudden you have an error.
once your sudoku puzzle is screwed up, your relationship probably is to.
maybe he/she will give you another chance and give you a new puzzle to start over with,
lucky you, some others aren't given that chance.

if you haven't really gotten good at sudoku and are looking in the back of the book for answers,
that would be equall to cheating on the one you love.
your not making a full commitment to the relationship, your giving up.

my relationship is like sudoku.
i sometimes can be hapy and countinue to the next puzzle with no problem.
soon it comes to the time when i need to start using a pencil, i get upset and frustrated.
a problem in the puzzle, i want to quit at times but then i remember why i fell in love with sudoku.
i love my boyfriend, he is my sudoku.
its almost been a year, so i'm on my twelfth sudoku puzzle right now.
i'm almost done with it but i dont know how to finish, i'm confused with this puzzle.
i want him with me when we both finish our sudoku together but sadly its not going to happen.
he'll celebrate by doing something fun as if its just another day
while i celebrate it in my truck on the road missing him

How Special Am I?

it's almost three days til my birthday,
on your calendar marked with a big circle around it.
i can't wait, you got me excited and wondering what you have planned for me.
a movie? lunch? dinner? flowers?
oooh i just can't wait.

but today i found out i'll be out of town on business.
a few hundred miles away.
i'm thinking of that big circle you have marked on your calendar
and what is happening to our plans we had?
since i'll only be four hours away, i'm thinking to myself
"it would be a lovely surprise for you to show up, and be with me on my special day."
so i write an e-mail and send it your way.

waiting for your e-mail to come in...
bleep!
okay i just recieved your e-mail.

My Love,
it's okay, i'll be seeing you after you come back from your trip. I understand you got a job to fulfill so i'll see you when you gey back. i love you with all my heart.
Your Love.

short an simple.
i expected more then just three sentences.
i was sad but i was happy he understood i had a job to do.

today is my birthday.
like every morning i check my e-mail.
i got good news today, my boss decides to let me have the weekend off.
i realize my plans with my love aren't ruined.
i rush to get in the shower and fix my hair.

phone rings its nine o'clock, i'm expecting it's you to say happy birthday,
but no.
it's my friend asking if i was going with my boyfriend on his fun trip.
seems like you planned it three days ago when i had told you i was leaving.
didn't take you very long to find something fun to do for my birthday.

so after i hang up the phone, i turn the volume on silent.
i decide i might as well not call you or take your calls.
how long should i make you wait?