Burned

"You wore my favorite shirt,
the shirt that shows off your collar bones.
You wore your old school snap back,
and your faded jeans.

You looked at me and laughed,
your way of showing I stare too much.
I smiled as I watched you walk closer.
Walking with your hands in pocket."

I have you burned in my mind this way.

Forever Gone.

Loving Her is Difficult

 Loving her is difficult.

She married my brother,

has babies and bought a home.

I don't know if I can do that?

Can I make her happy?

She smiles as she walks around the farmers market,

I wonder what shes thinking about.

Is she thinking of my brother?, cooking that meal he loves so much.

When I watch them play,

she cuddles right up to him,

like their love will never end.

She married my brother.

I never see her cry,

she holds everything together as if her life is perfect.

Maybe it is?

Could I have made it perfect?

Loving her is difficult.

She smiles at me but then looks at him.

I cant hold her gaze long enough for her to wonder about us.

She married my brother.

Loving her is difficult.

My Mask

 Its been a while,

most of the time I cant force myself to write anything.

instead all these thoughts, ideas, memories, and you come to mind.

When its you....

I don't like to talk about you,

I sometimes forget why we even stopped being an us.

I get dressed, tie my shoes, grab my mask and head out.

Maybe I need a drive, maybe i just need to pick some veggies from the store?

I don't know.

Then its like my heart senses you near.

I grab my things and head to leave.

As soon as I turn the corner there you are.

Staring into my eyes, like you know its me.

I cant hide behind this mask.

I wonder if you want to say something,

I pushed you away for all these years and yet I still hold on.

My heart is racing, staring into your brown eyes.

Your mask doesn't hide you very well either.

As you walk past my heart seems to quicken,

no longer one beat per minute.

Quicken because you are gone, out of sight.

I grab my things and rush out of the door.

I stand beside my car, looking at my reflection,

thinking is this what I look like?

Why do you do this to me?

Released

he let go of her hand,
empty,
without words to slip off his tongue,
he proceeded to walk away taking his cold heart with him.
she looked in his eyes and found guilt.
he tried to cover it up but the guilt had kept chocking him.
the need for him had been chipping away one by one,
bricks falling off of their place called home.
he didn't bother to look back,
he knew it would destroy her and only bring her to his level.
cold heart like his he thought about that for quick second
she look at her empty hands,
winters breeze dancing on her finger tips
she was free
released.

Last Time

When I wake up you're the first thing that pops in my head.
Should I smile or be disappointed?
I start my wash,
take a shower,
cook something to eat.
But still during those times I think of you.