Today I heard from you
4 minutes felt like 4 seconds
those 4 minutes already captured me
they had me remembering you
we were an us
you became apart of me
a part that could not be erased or forgotten
4 minutes felt like 4 seconds
quick enough to feel your ghost holding me
chills down my spine from the sound of your voice
hoping to not hear you say "i miss you"
if I did I'd probably shatter
4 minutes felt like 4 seconds
quick but slow enough to miss you
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Bear
Im listening to this song
its been playing over and over in my head
in my head for a couple of weeks now
simply reminding me of the weeks
of the days when I was yours
Laying my head on your chest
listening to your heart pound my name
tracing your tattoos with my fingertips
Bear Paws.
I love the home I made in your arms,
it felt just right belonging there
every kiss, eager for our lips to touch
a kiss on my neck
leads to a kisses trailing down to my stomach
not being able to say "no"
felt so good at that moment
pulling me closer to you
not want wanting to let go
I laid with you that night
listening to the cars drive by on the wet pavement
listening to the rain fall down the gutters
not wanting this night to end
I'm listening to this song play over and over
and it was only those short weeks I was yours
I remind myself to continue with my day
and tonight fall asleep with you
not knowing your in my dreams.
its been playing over and over in my head
in my head for a couple of weeks now
simply reminding me of the weeks
of the days when I was yours
Laying my head on your chest
listening to your heart pound my name
tracing your tattoos with my fingertips
Bear Paws.
I love the home I made in your arms,
it felt just right belonging there
every kiss, eager for our lips to touch
a kiss on my neck
leads to a kisses trailing down to my stomach
not being able to say "no"
felt so good at that moment
pulling me closer to you
not want wanting to let go
I laid with you that night
listening to the cars drive by on the wet pavement
listening to the rain fall down the gutters
not wanting this night to end
I'm listening to this song play over and over
and it was only those short weeks I was yours
I remind myself to continue with my day
and tonight fall asleep with you
not knowing your in my dreams.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
You
I seen you yesterday, just a wave with empty words.
On my side I had a rush of feelings,
"i miss you" "i hate you" "i want to see you"
I wanted to know what you were feeling,
if you felt the same way, if you moved on.
I could tell you I miss you, I still think I love you,
but those words would both do us no good.
I want you to believe me when I tell you
"it's not easy forgetting someone like you, and that I still care about you"
but really what would it seriously do for us?
make it harder?
that's why I rather you not believe anything I have to say
When you tell me you miss me too, and that you love me,
I force myself to not believe a word you say,
but deep in my heart I want to believe you and reach out to you.
I miss every look you gave me,
the look when you try to make me laugh,
the pouting look so I can give in to you,
but the serious look is the one I love so much;
the gaze in your eye and the tone in your voice,
I fall more and more in love with you.
I love your smile when you talk about your friends
and laugh about the crazy stuff you guys went through.
But the smile I love the most is the one
when we planned about the things we would do
the same smile you gave when you use to hug me.
So everyday I hope and pray I can have a day without
the want for you.
The Bet
On my side I had a rush of feelings,
"i miss you" "i hate you" "i want to see you"
I wanted to know what you were feeling,
if you felt the same way, if you moved on.
I could tell you I miss you, I still think I love you,
but those words would both do us no good.
I want you to believe me when I tell you
"it's not easy forgetting someone like you, and that I still care about you"
but really what would it seriously do for us?
make it harder?
that's why I rather you not believe anything I have to say
When you tell me you miss me too, and that you love me,
I force myself to not believe a word you say,
but deep in my heart I want to believe you and reach out to you.
I miss every look you gave me,
the look when you try to make me laugh,
the pouting look so I can give in to you,
but the serious look is the one I love so much;
the gaze in your eye and the tone in your voice,
I fall more and more in love with you.
I love your smile when you talk about your friends
and laugh about the crazy stuff you guys went through.
But the smile I love the most is the one
when we planned about the things we would do
the same smile you gave when you use to hug me.
So everyday I hope and pray I can have a day without
the want for you.
The Bet
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The Bet
it started off with a day. then along came a "bet." i was having problems at home, and i was comforted by a friend. everyone judged, but when it was us; everything drifted away.
hours of lunch getting acquainted, became a day of spending time with each other. "shooting the shit" with you was always something new and exciting. remembering the first touch; teasing me because i jerked away, but that day together became easy to hold your hand. while things at home were still a problem, i made myself at home in your arms and felt joy with your kisses. curious but a chance to get away from my problems i stayed the night in your arms. what i remember most is the look on your face you gave me when you showed me your home. happy but nervous; hoping i wouldn't just take off. i was able to just sit and relax with no arguments, it was just us being there together that freed me from him. microwave pizza and water is another thing i remember, you happily served me.
when you smile i memorize every single line and curve, the same way i memorize your laugh like a song. soon it came to the point where we could no longer be together and it has been a while since i seen you. flash backs of the talks that we had, such as "give me my pickle back" "i've fallen for you" and "I think i love you" i've been missing you since you have been gone, and now that were just friends it makes it harder to hide the memories of us. I never would have thought i could care about someone so deep and so quick, but my heart went for it.
Even if we were to stay just friends or acquaintances i know one thing is sure, don't regret a single kiss, hug, or caress. When you think of me i hope you think good things and the day we spent by the river, that is what i'll be thinking when i think of you.
hours of lunch getting acquainted, became a day of spending time with each other. "shooting the shit" with you was always something new and exciting. remembering the first touch; teasing me because i jerked away, but that day together became easy to hold your hand. while things at home were still a problem, i made myself at home in your arms and felt joy with your kisses. curious but a chance to get away from my problems i stayed the night in your arms. what i remember most is the look on your face you gave me when you showed me your home. happy but nervous; hoping i wouldn't just take off. i was able to just sit and relax with no arguments, it was just us being there together that freed me from him. microwave pizza and water is another thing i remember, you happily served me.
when you smile i memorize every single line and curve, the same way i memorize your laugh like a song. soon it came to the point where we could no longer be together and it has been a while since i seen you. flash backs of the talks that we had, such as "give me my pickle back" "i've fallen for you" and "I think i love you" i've been missing you since you have been gone, and now that were just friends it makes it harder to hide the memories of us. I never would have thought i could care about someone so deep and so quick, but my heart went for it.
Even if we were to stay just friends or acquaintances i know one thing is sure, don't regret a single kiss, hug, or caress. When you think of me i hope you think good things and the day we spent by the river, that is what i'll be thinking when i think of you.
I'll Miss You
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Once You Know Everything
once you know everything, you try to listen to your heart. maybe your heart has too many emotions so you feel its easier to listen to the voice in your head. how can you differ from whats real and whats fiction? listen to a friend? listen to your parents?
a friend; how do you know theyre your real friends? do they listen to you? do they hold you when you cry? do they tell you everything is going to be all right and you can lean on them for support?
a parent; are they really there for you? yeah they gave you life, but do they actually listen to your side, if there is a side? do you listen when they say “dont do this” and “dont do that”?
my friend always said they’d be there for me, be standing by my side. they would be there when i called. all i got was their voicemail. so how do you know if theyre your real friend or just pretend? They have been my friend since elementary school, we even graduated and walked together. my friend has seemed to disappear.
my parent; my mom, said she’ll stand by me no matter what I do. I want to be happy and be a good mom; yes she stood by me. I never wanted to get married, she pushed me into it. I was seperated from my husband, found a friend; someone i could talk to and be happy. Mom said no, your still married. No soon enough she became a hypocrite and began seeing a married man who was her high school love. Before they even started talking he was happily married, they start talking and soon they’re feelings for each other come back. I was happy mom and you took it away; so now I dont give a S*** on what you say your doing it too. I loved you enough to respect you and follow your guidance but im a big girl now, and now im not supporting your happiness with this guy.
on the other hand my “husband” then went to extreme measures, “i’m gonna take away the one thing you cant stand to have taken away from you” My Son.
so once you know how everything goes, what do you do from there? listen to what? because obviously my mind cant seem to wrap around any idea or problem thrown at me. My heart is being confusing. I no longer can trust my friend or parent.
so what do i do when all goes wrong? the only answer i give to you is: Being the best mom I can be
a friend; how do you know theyre your real friends? do they listen to you? do they hold you when you cry? do they tell you everything is going to be all right and you can lean on them for support?
a parent; are they really there for you? yeah they gave you life, but do they actually listen to your side, if there is a side? do you listen when they say “dont do this” and “dont do that”?
my friend always said they’d be there for me, be standing by my side. they would be there when i called. all i got was their voicemail. so how do you know if theyre your real friend or just pretend? They have been my friend since elementary school, we even graduated and walked together. my friend has seemed to disappear.
my parent; my mom, said she’ll stand by me no matter what I do. I want to be happy and be a good mom; yes she stood by me. I never wanted to get married, she pushed me into it. I was seperated from my husband, found a friend; someone i could talk to and be happy. Mom said no, your still married. No soon enough she became a hypocrite and began seeing a married man who was her high school love. Before they even started talking he was happily married, they start talking and soon they’re feelings for each other come back. I was happy mom and you took it away; so now I dont give a S*** on what you say your doing it too. I loved you enough to respect you and follow your guidance but im a big girl now, and now im not supporting your happiness with this guy.
on the other hand my “husband” then went to extreme measures, “i’m gonna take away the one thing you cant stand to have taken away from you” My Son.
so once you know how everything goes, what do you do from there? listen to what? because obviously my mind cant seem to wrap around any idea or problem thrown at me. My heart is being confusing. I no longer can trust my friend or parent.
so what do i do when all goes wrong? the only answer i give to you is: Being the best mom I can be
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