My Uncle Daddy T

This point in my life I have been having my ups and downs, been confused on who is actually here for me and those that aren’t. My uncle T seems to have it together right now, especially now that I feel everyone is unstable and unreliable; everyone meaning my other uncle’s and grandpa. From being a little girl who would belly flop on him to the girl who is now taking care of her own son; I could proudly say he has not bailed on me or disappointed me. When I was nine I lost my dad, after growing up with him around all the time, it seemed as if he filled an empty spot in my heart, not replacing my dad but having the spot next to him. So when I found out I was pregnant I was scared and worried on how my uncle T was going to take it since he was second dad. Of course he was happy for me and told me I’m still his ‘little Tay,’ that nickname always reassures me that he loves me and he is not going to abandon me. I love him with all my heart, my son Forrest will have the best godfather, well as soon as he’s baptized, he will know the love and joy I feel every time I’m around him and his family.

My Heart

I never planned to be pregnant at 18 and be a mom at 19; my plan was to wait till I was at least 23; not much to do about it now. I’m not going to back out; I don’t think I’d change it for anything. Feeling the kicks and hiccups inside me bring constant joy, happy to know someone special is growing big and strong inside me. The one who knows my heartbeat more than anyone would ever know, especially hearing my own baby’s heartbeat makes our connection even stronger. I have a couple weeks till my due date, I’ll be able to sleep on my tummy and many other things but till then I can wait. Soon I’ll be able to see my baby’s face looking up at me; then he’ll soon be at the age when he will be saying “I love you, Mom!”

Him Vs. He

i lay by him as the days come to an end,
sometimes lay there drifting into a nice slumber,
other; i lay there listening to the sound of his voice,
now; i lay here writing and thinking about a "what if"

at one point in my life my heart seemed to be in love with him,
then i met the one i fell in love with and he soon changed my life,
he and him are two i will always seem to keep in my heart.

laying here thinking; "have i found the one?"
"does my heart truly love "he"?"

him was my first love,
if i was with him would i be laying here in his arms?
would i have this same wide smile on my face?
can i be able to cry in his arms, like i do in "he"?
him was my first love.

he lays here sleeping soundly as i write this,
the quiet snore out beats the fans humming.
if i truly love "he" i wouldnt be questioning it, right?
he loves me and i love he,
without "he" i dont think i'd be happy like i am at this moment,
our heartbeats sync with one anothers and i fit just right in his arms.

him and me? i guess we will never be because i love He

Little Big Brother

I know you and I won’t ever remember when you were a big baby, or when I would feed you for mom, but do you remember us crawling in grandpa and grandma's bed? Remember us having red sore bottoms from getting spanked all the time. I recently just found out it can lower a child's IQ, no wonder we are like we are now. Do you remember mom telling us she would pay us if we danced like those guys off of “Save the Last Dance?” We were too embarrassed to do something stupid like that, and now we do stupid shit all the time. I remember you burning your arm on my Curl 'N' Iron, you didn't notice it was on there for the longest time till we seen the later results of what kind of burn it was; a "Fucking Bad Bubbly Burn," but of course you got me back by breaking my pinky by sliding on it. I had to get a whole arm cast which made me look dumb. Brother, do you remember the Nintendo 64? We stayed up late playing Donkey Kong and Super Mario. How about the time I was giving you a ride on the bike and we crashed and you flew over the handle bars? We got up and looked at each other and busted out laughing. You’re the best brother I know, or have known till our other brothers came into the picture. I want to thank you for being there when I needed you most, during boy talks, mom talks, missing dad talks, and of course waking up at two in the morning to eat cereal with me. You’re the Best!

My Granny Cakes

Once upon a time there lived an old lady that lived at the bottom of a mesa in New Mexico, her name was Rebecca. This lady had three crazy kids, and they gave her plenty of grandchildren that could barely all fit in her house.  Every birthday she would spoil her grandchildren with Butterfingers, Snickers, Ramen noodles, and crackers of all sorts. Not your average family you might see every day, but this is her world. A long time ago she had a gambling problem, this old lady would ask for a dollar to play her promo. An old lady like her she had a rude side, waitresses and waiters feared for their lives; afraid she’d say “off with their heads!” or her famous quote “it’s about time” this quote was applied to any person who wastes her time. During her nights with her grandchildren she’d read them a chapter in her “fairy tale” book, luckily the children were little and didn’t understand the full meanings of the words she spoke. Imagine if they knew what thrust and lingered really meant in a full sentence, not even a good picture for them to imagine. This old lady still scares waiters, still spoils her grandchildren, and this time actually reads children fairy tale books. This old lady is my grandma, and yes I was spoiled with Ramen noodles.