little jeremy¤

my husband came home one night,
not a word spoken; but i could tell he was upset,
as i lay on the bed thinking whats going through his head,
i wonder if i did something wrong,
wondering what will happen tomorrow.

jeremy is asleep and tucked in bed,
i walk around the house,
looking to make sure nothings aren't out of place,
take the dishes out of the dish washer.
i notice nothing, and believe everything is right where it should be.

before i go back to the room,
i go to jeremys room,
kiss him goodnight and whisper i love you.

I'm in the room,
my luggaged is missing from under my studio lights,
i walk around the corner,
the bed there, sheets folded just the way i got out of them,
one thing is different.

where is my husband?
my heart starts pounding and hands go cold.

it's over.

i wake up, cook breakfast,
jeremy is getting ready for school,
jeremy comes in, three years old and asking for pancakes,
"mommy what happened?"

he's only three,
what could i tell my son?
"oh mommy just fell down"
"do you need a hug mommy?"

jeremy ties his shoes,
i notice he is feeling bad for me.
"daddy mommy got hurt."
"Honey are you alright?"

"yes i am fine, jeremy the bus is here"
"bye honey, love you see you when i get home"
kisses and hugs, i watch jeremy climb into the bus.

waves and yells i love you mom.

i watch as the other vehicle leaves the drive way.
i start my day again,
with the list making sure everythings more perfect than it was yesterday.
staying is killing me, but he scares me into staying with him

my face bruised,
ribs and thighs hurt; bruised too.
jeremys heart may be bruised too, but i have to stay.
I'm so scared that i have to love my husband...
in order to survive.