little jeremy¤

my husband came home one night,
not a word spoken; but i could tell he was upset,
as i lay on the bed thinking whats going through his head,
i wonder if i did something wrong,
wondering what will happen tomorrow.

jeremy is asleep and tucked in bed,
i walk around the house,
looking to make sure nothings aren't out of place,
take the dishes out of the dish washer.
i notice nothing, and believe everything is right where it should be.

before i go back to the room,
i go to jeremys room,
kiss him goodnight and whisper i love you.

I'm in the room,
my luggaged is missing from under my studio lights,
i walk around the corner,
the bed there, sheets folded just the way i got out of them,
one thing is different.

where is my husband?
my heart starts pounding and hands go cold.

it's over.

i wake up, cook breakfast,
jeremy is getting ready for school,
jeremy comes in, three years old and asking for pancakes,
"mommy what happened?"

he's only three,
what could i tell my son?
"oh mommy just fell down"
"do you need a hug mommy?"

jeremy ties his shoes,
i notice he is feeling bad for me.
"daddy mommy got hurt."
"Honey are you alright?"

"yes i am fine, jeremy the bus is here"
"bye honey, love you see you when i get home"
kisses and hugs, i watch jeremy climb into the bus.

waves and yells i love you mom.

i watch as the other vehicle leaves the drive way.
i start my day again,
with the list making sure everythings more perfect than it was yesterday.
staying is killing me, but he scares me into staying with him

my face bruised,
ribs and thighs hurt; bruised too.
jeremys heart may be bruised too, but i have to stay.
I'm so scared that i have to love my husband...
in order to survive.

Beginning of the "Time"

TICK.TOCK.TICK.
The clock ticks by slowly,
Every minute feels like days,
I could feel my own self aging.
Why does time have a hold of me?
I believe it's because time was stolen from me.
I'll never get to know the man I loved,
The man who had my heart.
Why does time have me by my neck?
For now the man I love is like a memory,
A piece of my history.
He waits for me with the sweet aged woman
Who watched over me while he was out.
Why don't time let me go?
Time has done many horrible things.
Time has caused my brother to forget.
TICK.TOCK.TICK.
Please let me go.
I hate waiting, I want to see him now!
I know the man I love would want me to wait,
But it's far from now.
What does time have planned from me?
All it does is cause pain to those I care about.
I'm laying here sad to say I'm waiting.
What is time bringing for tomorrow?
But most of all, What does time have planned tonight?
Nightmare? Sound Sleep? or the Future?
TICK.TOCK.TICK.
Time all I ask is please, no more pain.
Give me the dream I ask for every night,
A dream with him.
TICK.TOCK.TICK......

That I'm In Luv With Yu♥

When I think of you my heart starts to flutter,
chills crawl up my spine while my fingers start to get cold.
When i'm sad all I need to do is think about our first date; you made me happy that day you saved me from the crazy lady♥
When I get scared or afraid, I began to feel your arms wrapping around me.
When you are sleeping beside me, i listen to yur heart talk to me; telling me that you love me♥
When you are watching tv, i watch your smile and listen to your laugh♥
When I kiss you shania's song pops in my head "I wish you could see the way you kiss..."
All my thoughts about you sink in my heart and I know, That I'm In Love With You♥