Thinking of You

I sit here looking out the window,
watch as the wind combs through the trees,
the leaves are turning a shade orange every minute.
Then my mind thinks of you.

I imagine every different way I could greet you.
1. Run to you and hold you tight.
2. Stay where I'm at till you come to me.
3. Be surprised that your here in my presence and start crying.
or 4. Look into your eyes and meet you half way tell you what's always on my mind
"I Love You"

My arms start get to goosebumps,
I think to myself maybe your hugging me from a distance?
I always imagine stuff like this
So I'll hug you back and send a kiss.

My fingers start to go cold,
I look at my hands
no i don't need a manicure,
instead I need your hand holding mine.
I love the way you hold my hand, and kiss my chip nail polish fingertips.

Soon the clouds roll in,
but the leaves are still changing color.
The clouds are changing to gray
and starting to water my lawn.
Boom.

I heard that loud bang,
and remember holding you and you then telling me your favorite story.
"Its only the clouds playing bowling"
You always assured yourself, you hated the storms.
"Its only clouds swinging on chandeliers, making lighting"

 I held you till that next morning,
the storm finally blew over and you looked at me and said,
"how do you do that?, I can tell you anything."
me; "Because I'm a Cancer."

I love your honesty
as much as you loved my humor.

Sitting here in the storm,
makes me miss you.
Sitting anywhere in this town makes me think of you.
Why do you have to be so far away?

I walk away from the window,
find something to get my mind off of you.
Ding Dong.
12 o'clock every Wednesday the girl scouts.

Opening the door,
never did I expect to see you kneeling at my door.
"Will You Marry Me?"
"Yes."

No Longer

I choose him instead of us, I walked away with tears in my eyes; falling from my face. I looked in my rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of you kicking the dirt and dropping to your feet. Turning off the radio because our song was playing, now all I heard was the gravel flying from under my tires escaping our secret place. I thought to myself how did I let it get this far, I thought that this could happen. I was ready to take a chance and jump on this train with you.
I ended up letting him scare me away from you, I let him control my decision. So im in this relationship, kisses and hugs, but no trust. I’ll no longer feel your lips on my shoulder or the back of my hand. No longer smell your natural scent of you while you sleep. No longer feel you laying on my back as you watch tv with me. I’ll no longer see your light brown rays in your eyes as you stare at me. Instead I’ll be sleeping by his side and dream of what we used to be.