Mommy.

Do you remember when dad taught me how to walk?

You were so happy but sad at the same time because I didn't learn from you.

Do you remember for Halloween my friends huddled around you because they were scared of the haunted house and I was left out?

Do you remember when you told me dad would never be in our lives the way he use to be?

Dad taught me to walk with him so I could walk with you and be like you. During Halloween I was left out because all friends moms weren't there, so I let them borrow you so they could feel how safe I felt with you. When dad died we both felt the same, we lost the man we loved so much, but now we see him everyday in Dallas.

I love you mom and it's true! I'm just like you; Beautiful, Smart, and Everything Sweet.

Best Friends

Band-Aids.

They held me together when I had boo-boo’s

They cured my loneliness and heartbreak.

Guarded me and made sure no dirt or germs hurt me.

This is how I describe my best friends.

Every first happens with them.

First Ditch,

First High.

First in almost everything.

Every day is we make our decisions on which paths we should take, we support each other in our decisions; no matter how bad they are.

I know we may not be together every day like high school,

But I know we’ll always have each other’s backs.

I love you guys.

Your my Sudoku

Love & Sudoku.

yes to me it seems like love is sudoku.
you try to get every number 1-9 in each column, row and box.
pen or pencil.

i usually use pen, its permanent with no erasing.
like love, you say 'i love you' and you mean it.
problem with using pen is that once you make a mistake, no erasing.
that is when sometimes i wish to use a pencil.
like accidentally when you say 'babe i hate when you act like a total *****'
sometimes you cant erase or chew it over with a snickers, because still there'll
still be that arguing over stupid stuff.

think of one sudoku puzzle equals one month.
your proudly geting a hang of sudoku but then all of a sudden you have an error.
once your sudoku puzzle is screwed up, your relationship probably is to.
maybe he/she will give you another chance and give you a new puzzle to start over with,
lucky you, some others aren't given that chance.

if you haven't really gotten good at sudoku and are looking in the back of the book for answers,
that would be equall to cheating on the one you love.
your not making a full commitment to the relationship, your giving up.

my relationship is like sudoku.
i sometimes can be hapy and countinue to the next puzzle with no problem.
soon it comes to the time when i need to start using a pencil, i get upset and frustrated.
a problem in the puzzle, i want to quit at times but then i remember why i fell in love with sudoku.
i love my boyfriend, he is my sudoku.
its almost been a year, so i'm on my twelfth sudoku puzzle right now.
i'm almost done with it but i dont know how to finish, i'm confused with this puzzle.
i want him with me when we both finish our sudoku together but sadly its not going to happen.
he'll celebrate by doing something fun as if its just another day
while i celebrate it in my truck on the road missing him

How Special Am I?

it's almost three days til my birthday,
on your calendar marked with a big circle around it.
i can't wait, you got me excited and wondering what you have planned for me.
a movie? lunch? dinner? flowers?
oooh i just can't wait.

but today i found out i'll be out of town on business.
a few hundred miles away.
i'm thinking of that big circle you have marked on your calendar
and what is happening to our plans we had?
since i'll only be four hours away, i'm thinking to myself
"it would be a lovely surprise for you to show up, and be with me on my special day."
so i write an e-mail and send it your way.

waiting for your e-mail to come in...
bleep!
okay i just recieved your e-mail.

My Love,
it's okay, i'll be seeing you after you come back from your trip. I understand you got a job to fulfill so i'll see you when you gey back. i love you with all my heart.
Your Love.

short an simple.
i expected more then just three sentences.
i was sad but i was happy he understood i had a job to do.

today is my birthday.
like every morning i check my e-mail.
i got good news today, my boss decides to let me have the weekend off.
i realize my plans with my love aren't ruined.
i rush to get in the shower and fix my hair.

phone rings its nine o'clock, i'm expecting it's you to say happy birthday,
but no.
it's my friend asking if i was going with my boyfriend on his fun trip.
seems like you planned it three days ago when i had told you i was leaving.
didn't take you very long to find something fun to do for my birthday.

so after i hang up the phone, i turn the volume on silent.
i decide i might as well not call you or take your calls.
how long should i make you wait?

Will there be an Us?

i'll be waiting for you,
waiting for you to come through the door.
wondering if you'll talk to me,
or just lay silently next to me.

i'm letting you down,
i always have your hopes up
then tradgically find a way to hurt you
it is my fault, this time i know you probably wont forgive me

the door just opened.
who could it be?
who else could have the key to our house?
i dont heard the pots and pans of you cooking,
i dont hear the tv going,
i do hear the shower going.
i'm laying on the bed looking through our old photos.
back when we were young and innocent.
the picture of us when we were at our special place.
the shower stopped, i hear the towel slip off the rack
as you tie it around your waist.
now i'm thinking of how badly i shouldnt be forgiven.
im sorry.
no footsteps to the bed room.
footsteps in the other direction to the spare room
the room where someday a baby is suppose to be.
i wonder if that baby will ever be given a life to live.
the moon skips away as the sun approaches.
i havent slept, i havent heard you awake yet.
i rush to the kitchen, but there you are.
sitting at the table with your coffee in one hand,
a sigh crawls out of your mouth.
i wait for it. but it's no words again, only a paper.
Divorce Papers.
and a note with 5 words.
"I thought you loved me?"
he leaves before i could say anything.
how could i have been so stupid,
i never wanted to hurt the one person that meant so much to me,
and now i'm packing my things, all because stupid me.
i should have never cheated.