heart with a twist

i lay here thinking of you when i know i shouldnt. my heart seems to be confused, my mind might be confusing me. i lay here thinking of our time, so long ago it was. does that feeling for you exsist, like it does for me? i remember the friendly hi & byes, then when i can no longer count them i think of the touches. asking for your hand, just so i can hold it. my heart is confused. how can it be when were no longer what we use to be: FRIENDS IN LOVE. we swam in a pool of love. you carrying me, grabbing my arms to pull me closer to you. under the water we went, the rush we had still swims in my viens. seeing those brown eyes in my daydreams and hearing your laugh rings in my ears. its kind of hard to say i dont love you when i think i do.i wish i knew what you felt, maybe your stopping yourself just as im stopping my feelings. he lays next to me as i think of you. i imagine you holding me just to wonder how it might feel, i wonder if you think of me that way. *that day i pulled away... what if i didnt? would have something happened? would we have became something? the hug was the most incredible feeling ive ever felt, it was the closest thing we got to a kiss. it felt as if i belonged there. maybe i should have kept myself there. would you have let me stayed? my heart is confused but i love him madly as he sleeps so peaceful. i love him so much. so why do i think of you? last look you gave, gave me hope. hope youd come back to me. because truely what if we did belong? i think i might love you? do you love me?