Writing.

Does he still read this?
I have no page views from the United States.

I wonder if I should stop writing in my journal to someone who probably is not there.
Maybe he's looking at the computer screen.
Typing a message, letter, note, etc., wanting to press send.
Slowly hitting the backspace button, deleting the word "Hi"
or maybe the phrase "I'm Sorry"
I'm hoping for at least a "."

But as I sit on this side of the screen, state, world, universe; I'll write:
"I hope you're happy."

Not in a mean way but in a reassuring way.

I Stay

As I screamed to the world and friends how much I loved him.
I got nothing in return.
I Stay.
A cold rush of wind blew threw my hair.
Chills blanketed my arms.
But as I said "I Love You"
I heard nothing but the echo of my own words bounce back at me.
He did nothing but smile.
As if he had won a game and I was the one who lost.
He never told anyone about our love.
Laughed with others but never mentioned me,
especially being that I was standing next to him.
He breaks my heart,
but never cares; he probably likes watching it fall to pieces.
I stay.
That's practically all I can say right now, "I Stay"

I want to be loved privately and publicly.
He can kiss me,
Touch me,
but never loves me.
I'm hopeless.
"Don't say I never tried."
I Stay.