Sex

After they had slept together they laid there,
as soon as he fell asleep; she left.
He had a smile on his face and his hair was a mess.
She could feel him still holding her,
kissing her lips making his way towards her thighs.

She had told him before, this between us will never happen.
That was when he leaned in and gave her their first kiss.
She then said this between us will never work out.
Soon he had her in his bedroom.

That next day she packed her car and pointed on a map that place she plans to be at.
She grabbed her keys and went out the door.

There he was waiting by her car....

You Let Me Go

I have held my head up high for half the year.
I smiled and brushed it off as if it was dirt on my hands.
Changed the subject as if it was boring me.
Left the room to brush my hair only to avoid conversation.

They told me a story and it was relating to you.
They asked why did it end?
My brother looks at me as if to see if I'm okay with answering these nonsensical questions.
He knows these stories and questions tug on my heart strings.

Then they say "oh yeah, he can't talk to you"

As I said, my head has been held high for half the year,
but they're waiting for it to fall.
They're waiting for the blob of tears to crash out.

"No, I just let him go"

That's all I came up with.
I didn't fight to be with him.
He didn't fight to be with me.

We had a story and it ended,
Truth is he let me go because he lost a fight.

6:15pm

She kissed his pillow,
it's been five days since he had last laid there;
and still his scent is fresh.

She can hear knocking on her door,
the neighbors are talking on the other side of the walls;
and yet she still lays there wrapped in her blankets.

Her phone used to ring constantly till it vibrated its way of the bed.
Two weeks has went by and her family began to get more worried.
The apartment manager knocks and opens the door.

He walked into the smell of rotten food,
mail, pictures, and clothes sprawled on the floor.
He got to the living room,
her bedroom door was wide open.

She had tears staining her cheeks,
fingers and toes cold,
the window was open and birds lounged on the window sill.

He approached her quietly,
she look as is she hadn't moved from her bed.
As he looked at her all he could see was beauty.

He fell in love with this girl who was wearing a mens jacket.
He looked around and noticed it was nothing but mens clothes on the floor,
photos of a man everywhere.
On her dresser was a note.

He husband recently passed away.
As she laided there, he waited.
Waiting for her to wake up, and join the world that stole her husband away.

And maybe, just maybe;
he can help her.

He

He made himself the victim. He said it over and over, and soon he believed it completely. Then he told others about his tragic love story.

Love.

It was a major issue between him and her. He loved her for 17 years. Though he loved her, he still kissed companions night after night. Though he loved her, he slept with companions week after

week.

He tried numbing his pain, forgetting love, and fought back his attraction to the girl he dreamed about.

Though he loved her, he made her cry. Though he loved her, he pushed her away.

Love was never easy. He loved others, but not the way he loved her. Ex’s & Next’s always knew they could never compare to this girl. He held her higher that the girl that dared to fall in love with him.

Though he loved her, he broke her heart. Though he loved her, he never spoke to her.

 

Though he hurt her, she loved him.

Bye

You looked me in the eye and for that quick second, I knew it was over. I watched your lips form the phrase “Love of My Life”.

I smiled the best I could, but deep down inside my heart was cracking. You were finally happy, after all these years of searching for love.

As for me, I was and always will be in love with the idea of you. You were tall, fine lines, and humor that captured my heart.

I still watched you talk about how independent, free spirited but slightly controlling she is. How you guys first met.

But as my heart started to crumble at the pit of my stomach, I nicely broke you off in mid-sentence. Honestly I no longer could listen about her anymore. She had something that once belonged to me, which I knew I would never get back.

I left with a “bye”. A hug was no longer normal. I feared I would never let you go, I even told myself you would not see me cry.

It was done with a “bye”.

Story Teller

She told her about the ups and downs in her life. Told her about the one who broke her heart but said sorry. She then told her about the one that she lost; all from jealousy. So far there were no ups in her life. With her voice shaking she then began telling her of the one who steals her confidence, youth, and beauty.

He lives in the place she calls home. He stares at her from behind as if she cannot see or feel his eyes lingering on her skin. He pretends to joke, when really he touches for his own pleasure. While he is hovering over her body, she pushes and fights for her life. No one notices, she don’t say a thing because who would believe her. She told her guardian, her protector, but instead they brushed it of as a joke. So while she locks herself in the bathroom, she looks in the mirror and wonders what is triggering his behavior. Why does his wife not notice? Is she not pleasing him enough?

She covers herself in two t-shirts, a sweatshirt, and baggy sweats. Stays hidden in her bed, never going upstairs to the light, because that is where he lingers. He lives in the place she calls home. She want’s so much to escape but instead traps herself in the place he also calls home.

As she finished telling her story; she who was listening, hugs her.  

Smile

He woke up and noticed that the girl he dreamed of was not the girl he woke up to every morning. They had taken the next step committing to each other by moving in together. Her pink blankets draped on the bed, and her towels neatly hung in the bathroom.

He sits up and watches an old 80’s flick in his white casual t-shirt he had fallen asleep in. Sweat pants with cartoon characters collaged all over them, hugging him in every right way. When she walks in on him, she sees nothing but a lazy guy in bed.

“Get dressed, please,” she wasn’t up for a day in bed. “We’re supposed to meet Justin and Sarah for lunch. Why is it you never want to be with me and my friends? For once can you just get dressed for me?”

He looked at her and smiled. His smile was accepted as a yes. She walked out of the room and left him to get ready. Shower. Check. In their closet he picked out his clothes, as he was walking out a box fell out of place; a box containing memories of his past life.

The girl in his dreams also happened to be the same girl in this box he carried. He knew if she found this box it would hurt her, because she knows of a girl; but does not know this is her. When the box opened he grabbed a picture. In the photo you can see her smiling, her hair blowing in the wind in the passenger seat of his car. The same day this girl also told him she loved him.

“Are you ready yet?” he covered the box with the blankets and put on a clean shirt. She stood by the door with her arms crossed, giving up she stormed in the other room. He puts on his jeans, runs his fingers through his hair and calls it good.

He can hear her looking for the car keys, walking around in her heels and getting impatient. He puts the photo back into the box, and returns it to the closet.

“Now can you please act like you’re having fun for today?”

He looked at her and smiled.

Keeping it Together

He didn’t say “stay away.”

He didn’t say “we can’t be friends.”

He didn’t say “It’s over.”

But then again they were all things she had heard before.
Not from him but from someone who meant a lot to her as well.
She didn’t cry this time,
Instead she just walked away from this.
She pulled herself out before she could get hurt again,
Tear stained pillow cases,
And tissues overflowing the trash can,
Was not something she wanted to see again.
He let her talk but after that he stood there quiet.
She was not going to wait for tears to form,
So she left with her heart barely intact.

He became another friend lost.

Tell Me Why

I all of a sudden felt his gaze hugging me,
but it was as if we have never parted.
My heart took it okay but my mind was having trouble to accept what was happening between us.
My mind convinced me to never let a new chapter of us begin,
build a steeper hill and have a higher wall to climb.

Instead I'm slowly letting him trickle in,
the cracks in my shattered heart are beginning to mend.

He put me in a place where it is up to me to work this out,
but as my heart and mind fight; I cant win.

One Night

He took her to the bedroom,
laid her down where she use to lay.
He still had her in the back of his mind
as he kissed her neck and touch her hips.
It was then when he got on top of her,
he saw her staring back at him.
Smiling her playful smile;
he then blinked and she was no longer there.
He sat up and sat on the end of the bed.
She was puzzled,
and she wondered why he had this dark cloud over him.
She doesn't know anything about his past;
she came for a one night stand.
Yet his feelings are getting in the way.
She gently caressed his face and pulled him to her.
She looked in his eyes,
didn't see her,
but saw the love of his life.
She kisses his lips and numbs his pain.
Her poison spreads throughout his body.
He closed his eyes and relaxed.
After it was over, he stared at the ceiling.
She put on her clothes and left the room.
He turned over and let it sink in on what just happened.
He put his hand under his pillow,
Ready to go to sleep.
Pulled her picture out,
Traced her image and said;
Good Night