Remembering You

"Scoot over!"
You climbed in my bed,
stared up at my ceiling,
"Wake Up!"

You played with my hair,
I yelled at you but still you laid next to me.
......

Certain days I wish this could be us again,
instead you wanted out,
wanted more;
but I declined.

I see you every now and then
wish I could run up to you and hug you.
Something about you has changed,
you lost yourself in your own mess of chaos.

I run past your house and remember spending nights,
dinners, and playing games at your house.
Sitting on your couch
laying my legs on yours.

We smiled and laughed at everyone,
everyone questioned our relationship,
I was your friend and you were mine.
Until you changed your mind.

I think of our last conversation
and start to cry.
I wonder everyday why you gave me up,
I wouldn't have done that to you.

I miss you everyday,
but someday I'll get over this.
Someday.

She was that little girl again.

The door bell rang,
constant knocks on the door.
"You afraid someones gonna rape you?!"
She unlocked the door and let in his family.

It was her habit of locking doors,
she would lock her bathroom door;
only for putting make up on.
She locked her bedroom door;
only to watch TV.
She locked her self in the closet;
only to look for shoes.

She smiled and went back to her room and locked her door.
The kids ran around the house,
listened to his aunt laugh at the baby,
jumped when she heard loud footsteps.
She even freaked out if it was dead silent.

Grabbing her purple blanket,
she sits on the couch.
Memories flash through her head,
remembering the sound of the door knob jiggle,
feeling eyes watch her while she slept.

She starts slipping into her dreams,
and soon enough she relives her past.
Panting and sore feet,
she pushed her bed in front of the door,
taped paper on her windows,
not letting anyone look in her room.

She watches the door knob jiggle,
soon it pops,
he forces him self through the door and smiles at her.

She then feels his hands on her neck,
and the weight of him on top of her,
shes feeling for an object and soon she hits him.

She's climbing off her bed and into the hallway from which he came,
he then grabs her foot,
fights her to bring her close.

She cries and fights but soon,
she was that little girl again.

She wakes up to the sound of the cooking alarm,
crying on the couch,
his family don't know what she went through.

They continue to tease her,
"You afraid someones gonna rape you?!"
In her mind she always replies:
"It wouldnt be the first time."

Starting with You

It was 2010,
I found out you were pregnant,
having a baby
and suddenly things between us changed.

I couldn't breathe,
my heart stopped,
looking at you would no longer be the same.
That was until I saw you again,

I watched you as you smiled,
you sat there looking lost,
but still you had that glow,
not the pregnancy glow that everyone gets,
but the glow you've always had every time I looked at you.

A year went by,
I haven't seen you,
but I think about you off and on.
Wondering how you're doing,
if your thinking of me.

Things are different,
but I want to believe that things are the same between us.
I bet you're in love,
happy,
and better off without me.

I begin to imagine what it may have been like.
I heard the news that you got married,
everything went through my mind,
especially my last chance of being with you.

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking of you,
She sits there and smiles at me,
one thing is for certain;
she's not you.

Talking to you off and on
has always brought a smile to my face,
I believe in your voice,
I can feel your heart,
You're someone I can always count on.

Now I'll think of you as a married woman.
So as I sit her with her,
I try to forget you.

Fine

It's my birthday today,
I woke up to my alarm going off,
waking my son from his dream,
calling me from his bed saying "Mom help!"
I covered him with his blankets and soon he was back asleep.

I slowly walked through the room to the bathroom.
Looked in the mirror and said happy birthday,
it was freezing cold, I had goosebumps everywhere.
It was my mission to untangle the blow dryer,
the cord that was in millions of knots.

Feeling the warm air that hit my skin,
making my hair fly like Marilyn Monroe.
"Go Girl, It's Your Birthday!" was playing in the background,
Singing Trey Songs and putting my make-up on.
Today I'm going to feel beautiful.

Work in a few minutes,
trying to find my cute outfit.
My room mate, aka my "husband" wakes up,
grabs his sneakers keys and takes me to work.
No words really said; Not even a Happy Birthday.

My day barely started, he's not ruining it.
Luckily for me he wont be home til eight.
So as I get into work I'll wait till the clock turns 10,
and my party will begin :)
Happy Birthday to Me!