This Town

Snow gently fell to the ground,
the cars and trucks passed by,
I sit here thinking of you.
I remember the times you would dance me in the street.
I remember the ring you gave me,
bring a smile to my face.
Sitting in your lap,
watching you laugh while you rocked me back and forth.
the snow continues to fall continuously,
I notice the kids having fun throwing snowballs,
catching snowflakes,
and then I feel the joy I had when we did the exact same three years ago.
They continue to play in a big snow pile,
the pile of snow where we use to lay and look at the clouds.
Holding hands, telling stories.
I then grab my coat,
and begin walking,
not knowing where i'll take myself.
This song has been playing in my head,
I'm at your shop.
There you are,
standing with her, the way you use to with me.
No longer with the ring on my hand,
but now on her's.
I should be moving along how far would I get
with this sad song ringing in my head.
I know it's over, its been over for a year,
and I still miss you.

"I just really miss you, I just really miss you,
There's a life I can't ask you to leave.
I just really miss you, right now I kinda want to.
The closest that you'll ever be to me
is free."

Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

Have you ever been in love?  Horrible isn’t it?  It makes you so vulnerable.  It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.  You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…. You give them a piece of you.  They didn’t ask for it.  They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.  Love takes hostages.  It gets inside you.  It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.  It hurts.  Not just in the imagination.  Not just in the mind.  It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.  I hate love.

Speak to Me

You turned in the other direction,
Your arms crossed against your chest.
I’m dancing around,
I’m kissing your cheeks and the back of your neck.
You kept a straight face,
And you fought back the smile that’s trying to break.
“You know you want me. You know you care.”
You hate Bieber, but you love my voice.
How long are you going to fight me off?
“Baby, Baby, Baby, Ohh”
Kissing your cheeks and still dancing at your feet.
Your smile is breaking across your face.
You have that look.
Speak to Me

The Day I left

I stared at him that night, I watched him fall into his deep slumber. I then went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and asked myself “is this who I became?” I had bruises on my arms, self inflicted is what they called them. I decided to pack my bags, packing everything that had a memory attached to it. No one is concerned with my problems, yet they walk on eggshells around me. Wondering when the next show is going to happen, yet I don’t know either. I grab my white flip flops, my “Falling Up” t-shirt, and my faded blue jeans. Pack them in my ”Hello Kitty” gym bag. He’s still lying there asleep not knowing whats going on. The Show. I pack my bag with more things; the picture frame with some random dog in it, the cooking spatula, and the TV remote, maybe I should take the living room rug. As I grab these “things” I continuously wipe the tears that are falling from my eyes. When I’m finally not able to pack any more “valuables” I grab his truck keys.
I drive to the bridge where we got married, barely able to see through the rain.
I kiss the railing and soon the rain is falling into big fat drops. I climb back into his truck and cry some more, yelling at myself for being this weak; stubborn. I grab the bag and slam the truck door. The first thing grab is my outfit, the outfit you first struck me in. No one saw or heard my cry when I ran away from you. I hold it and then I let the outfit slip through my fingers and fall into the river 10 feet below. I then get the spatula, you made me dinner to apologize and hoped I would take you back; it worked, I did. I throw it out of anger, I can’t believe I was dumb enough to fall for you. The TV remote is next, we watched your TV show and you got upset when I changed it. You then punished me with the remote, giving me multiple bruises on my leg; I let it drop. The picture frame with the random dog is the last of it. I came home late, without argument or warning; you threw it. You grabbed me and then threw me against the wall. The original frame broke, this is the replacement; but that same night I cut myself over and over.
I get in the truck and soon our song comes on; becomes a motivator. I put it in neutral and push. I watched it plummet those 10 feet, taking the railing I kissed with it.

Anonymous

Maybe your first love is the one that sticks with you because it’s the only person who will ever receive all of you. After that, you learn better. But, most of all, no matter what, a piece of you forever remains left behind in the heart of the one you loved - a piece no future lover could ever get, no matter what. That piece holds innocence - the belief that love really can last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error, that one kiss you’ll never forget and that night under the stars you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you thought love would be. Everything that was proven wrong.

In a Whisper

I sat there quietly listening to every single word spoken,
took in every sigh and giggle you let out.
As your hand grabbed mine,
I prayed that this moment would be embedded in my memory.
The chills ran across my body, I even noticed the chills run from me to you.
"Taylor"
I heard my name many times before but none that made my heart jump,
race, and then stop all at the same time.
I began to get nervous,
sliding my hair behind my ear,
looking at my reflections on every window.
I watched you look so confident,
smiling at every person walking by,
helping a little girl look into the window to gaze at the puppies.
Soon the day would slowly turn sunset orange.
The Christmas lights lit up the downtown street,
in sight were nothing but love struck lovers.
Couples behind us, couples in front of us holding hands,
couples kissing without the mistletoe.
We smiled and continued walking down the street side by side,
awkward it may have looked to others,
but us it was comfortable.
We haven't seen each other in years and finally were able to breathe the same air zone.
We sat in his car, me looking out the window
watching the trees and houses with lights disappear out of my sight,
but knowing we were coming close to my destination.
We pulled into my drive and he turned off the engine and let the radio play in the background.
We laughed at an all of a sudden familiar song "Dancing Away with My Heart"
Knowing at some point I had to get out of the car,
I took one last look at him and smiled.
"Have a nice night."
In a whisper I believe heard, or maybe even imagined an;
"I Love You."